Growing strong

I have plenty of days still where I just lose. My struggle with temptation is not one that comes out in the winning column anywhere near as much as I would like, and the frustration from that mounts. But even then, the bigger struggle is becoming submitting all of it to God and trusting Him that He's fulfilling everything that was promised. I'm involved with a small Bible study alongside three other Village Church men, and I've been blessed enough to be reminded of key truths:

And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.--1 John 5:11-12

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with temptation he will always provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.--1 Corinthians 10:13

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.--1 John 1:9

I treasure these all the more in the passing moments of defeat. Yet I know that victory isn't from my work, from my hands which can present nothing to God but filthy rags. Jesus is my victory, my freedom, and my joy. I desire more of Him, more of God.

And behold, a man came up to him, saying, "Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?" And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments." He said to him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man said to him, "All these I have kept. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

And Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished, saying, "Who then can be saved?" But Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Then Peter said in reply, "See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?" Jesus said to them, "Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of Man will sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.--Matthew 19:16-30

I realize that my heart clings to earthly desires--to make money, to make more money (albeit painted with nice names like "stability" that are still rooted in greed and would just as quickly honor money as god), to have women as something other than a sister in Christ and a wife to love and serve humbly. Yet God has been incredibly gracious because He woos me away from those things gently, lovingly, by showing me the incredibly beauty and joy of closeness with Him. All I can do daily is take up my cross, confess my sins, and pray for a heart that is turned more towards Him today than it was yesterday. This process has been slow, and painful at times, but the greater joy promised is something to be desired above all things.