Yet, my heart is still chock-full of desires different from and even opposing that.
I look at a woman and am filled with desires and thoughts that amaze me in their graphic detail (and make me wish to have half as much detail in my writing as my mind generates for such garbage). Not constantly, of course, but on occasion. Likewise, most of the time when I'm driving down the road I'm courteous, I try my best to be positive and safe. But when traffic gets ridiculous, or someone nearly slams into me, it's easy to justify an outburst. Pride and lust are my oldest friends and greatest enemies.
Of course, one must not discount the issues of spiritual warfare. The Bible is clear that we are under attack from unseen forces that wish to influence us away from God and towards our baser selves. The degree to which we react to that influence or to what we are being influenced varies; C.S. Lewis' famous Screwtape Letters is of course an intriguing notion of how demons view us in their role as tempters and servants of the enemy. In Ephesians 6:10-20 Paul calls for us to be active in combating these forces, for they are our true enemies:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.Which is all fine and good. But what does it mean to me when I feel drawn to something I know good and well is wrong and destructive to me? Operating on fear isn't exactly a good motivator; even if I managed to slink through life without doing the sinful actions that draw me most, I still have several issues, the primary one being that external actions are not what God is most concerned with in humans. From beginning to end the Bible is insistently about the idea that our bodies are important, but they are also temporal--everything we do, see and experience is little more than a shadow, to use C.S. Lewis' famous analogy, a vague symbol of the true reality waiting for us beyond this life and this world. It is why Paul exhorts his readers in Romans 12, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
How do I find transformation? Only through God. And I find God by finding what stirs up my affections for Him, whatever it is that makes my heart focus on Him above all things and push aside sinful temptations. Contrariwise, there are a myriad of things that distract from my attention to God. The world today is seemingly built expressly for the purpose of making us look away from Him; we remain in a locked room with no windows convinced of the beauty of our surroundings, even while He knocks gently on the door, entreating us to open it.
What attracts me? What repels? Two important questions I shall delve into here.
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