Life's worth knowing Him

"O LORD, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!
Selah

Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!
--Psalm 39:4-6

Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me." But he said to him, "Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?" And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." And he told them a parable, saying, "The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, 'What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?' And he said, 'I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.' But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?' So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God."--Luke 12:13-21

Why wait til you're old to live like you're retired?--billboard I saw while driving

These weeks have been fruitful with word from God through His Spirit, His Word and His people. The call is to reject the American call to pursue wealth, comfort, security, and to run after Christ with all speed. I don't know what that looks like in full at this moment; I feel like I'm standing on the precipice of important things and all I can do is wait for the sun to come up and show me a glimpse of what I'm about to leap into. So at the moment, what that looks like is going to work, loving the people around me and praying for them, prayerfully seeking opportunities to witness to them and taking life day by day like I do.

What I pray for is that God would loosen my hands around my earthly desires, the things that drive me to fear--because in those fears lie idols. Fear of losing financial security, fear of losing the ability to control and pursue what I want, of not being able to provide for myself or whatever family lies in my future. Those are fears that demonstrate where I don't trust God and I pray day after day that God will set my heart free from them.

"But God, being rich in mercy," has been gracious enough to teach me these things immersed deep in His love and through the words of grace with which he authored salvation for me and all who follow His call. I can't do enough to please God. I can't dig myself out, make myself better, clean myself up, prepare my own way--it is done, it is finished, in Christ and that burden is off my shoulders for now and all eternity. Knowing that makes me desire all the more to obey Him and to love Him above all things. Not that I'm there, but that God has shown Himself faithful to lead in love to make me what He intends for me to be.

And so when I drove past that billboard, the incredible wrong-headed, broken point of view seen there just struck me. The whole point of life, at least life in America, is...to get to maximum comfort and a life of ease as fast as possible? To flee any attachment or responsibility beyond pleasing ourselves?

What a phenomenal waste.

But even being able to recognize that is only possible through God's grace and His work in me; there was a time I would have gladly embraced such a thing, the classic American ideal of working to get as much as you can until you can bail out and live free and comfortably.

So what's my point? My point is the gospel. God saved me through the blood of Christ, filled me with His Spirit and has intended me for work to glorify Him, because there is no greater task one can have before them. I have no clue what that looks like tomorrow, but I know God will show me and I pray for a spirit obedient to run after it. His beauty is great beyond measure and yet I have to go to war against foolishness and sin in me that distracts me, blinds me to that and makes me want to cling to earthly things that do not save even in their moment, let alone ultimately.

Knowing Jesus, walking with Him and being able to know that He's made a path to where He intends for me to go for my good and His glory is the most freeing thing I've ever known in life. I'm free to take a risk, free to speak life to a loved one, free to give when I'm called and receive when I need. That certainly does not free me from pain, nor does it let me walk through life unhindered by the cold realities of this world--on the contrary, that's another mistake that points to my idolatry of comfort, trying to use Jesus as a painkiller when what He does is give pain meaning. Pain refines, it reminds, it restores. Joy in Christ is cold water in the desert, I walk knowing I'm going somewhere--the only place one could ever want to go. I'm going home.

I pray for you, friends. Not because I'm superior--I am right there with Paul calling myself chief of sinners. I pray for you because there is life here at the foot of the cross, there's real life and meaning beyond anything you can hope to find in work or family or religion or any of the billion other ways humans pour their lives away. I want you to know this joy, to walk in it and come to know Him.