Covering all sides

As anyone who knows me can say, I am a long-time admirer of C.S. Lewis and his writings. I find him to be incredibly insightful into the state of both the individual believer and non-believer, and of the church as a whole, even to the modern day. As they say, the more things change the more they stay the same, and reading a book like Mere Christianity can be very revealing when he speaks critically about the state of the church in his day, or how in his day as in ours people on all political sides were willing to take up the Word as a political club to get what they want but not at all willing to submit their lives to its Author.

Lewis was a prolific writer and me being a prolific reader, naturally I continue to take in as much of him and others as I can. When someone asks me "What stirs your affections for God?" I always respond with "reading the works of those who love Him and writing about how they impact my life." But all this introduces new opportunities into my life for the sin of pride, as I build my knowledge and read more and more, and spend more time writing about it.

But what's the answer? Not to run hard the other way, becoming someone who divests himself of the mind on the idea that "it's not spiritual," as though the Spirit can only be made manifest in overwrought emotions. As C.S. Lewis would say, that's an example of Satan getting us to argue about which of two equally wrong ideas are better (there I go again). Rather, there must be a central truth to govern it all, to put it all in place, and that's Christ. It's why Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10 that believers are at war, and as part of that war we "take every thought captive to obey Christ."

A place I have trouble with this is when I come to face down my sin of lust. It's hard to combat a deep sexual desire with knowledge--knowledge becomes this ethereal thing, hard to pin down, hard to make practical in that moment. I know a lot of things that I don't put into practice, but then, a philosophy that makes no impact on the life of the one who holds it isn't much of a philosophy. So clearly knowing a lot and reading lots of great writers is not enough. I have to submit all of my desires to Him, and do the hard work that will result in my greatest desire being for God. Only in that do I find myself a step closer to growing into a Godly man, rather than a boy held captive by his whims like a piece of paper blown about in a storm. Even then, though, I'm not the ultimate captain of my fate--rather, I am trading the destination-less tumble that is my life under my own command for the straight and steady course laid out by Christ, with its destination of true joy with God.

Or to go back to the war analogy, on my own I'm under fire in the battle field, no communication and no plan, with certain death looming. Submitting to Christ I am given strategy and tactics, I know which way I'm going, and death holds no fear for me, because no matter how today turns out He's still there. There's real joy, real pleasure to be had there, and I pray that when things get difficult God will make me just as mindful of this at that point as well.