Idling rough

I'm supposed to be back in Texas right now, recovering from a long drive, yet I'm not. Instead, I am still here in Kansas City at my parents' house. Car's in the shop...again. Last year I was stuck here for four weeks while mechanics endeavored to replace my transmission, spending several weeks attempting a rebuild before just putting a new one in. By that point I was ready to grab someone by the lapels and tell them to GET - ME - OUT - OF - HERE.

Cars have been the boon and bane of my existence virtually since I started driving. Always key to me getting what I need, always dying at the worst times (although this time at least, I was home, rather than in the middle of nowhere). I take after a writer I like and name my vehicles after Star Trek starships. The first thing I drove with any frequency lent its own name to that, an 84 Plymouth Voyager that met its end at the hands and pickup truck of a drunk driver late one night while my parents were driving.

The first one I was in for any length, though, was a 90 Ford Aerostar that came about as a result of that accident. I dubbed it the Enterprise; it was old and beat up, fast and relatively sturdy, way past its lifespan, yet when it did finally go it still felt like it had gone before its time. I always imagined it as the original Enterprise after the rebuild job in The Motion Picture, kept around because there was too much goodwill attached to it for it to be scrapped. I drove it into the ground, not only around Wichita but to two seasons of drum corps before the thing finally would take no more.

Its replacement was a 96 Dodge Grand Caravan I christened the Enterprise-A, and like its predecessor it was sleek, pretty, had nice modern features, and was a lemon. We picked it up for a fourth of blue book value and spent the remainder of that value or more fixing it. Every time I'd have to have something else ridiculous done to it I'd imagine Scotty cursing in the bowels of the ship at the beginning of the fifth movie: "'Let's see what she's got,' said the captain. And we found out, didn't we?"

Yes, I'm a nerd. No, it doesn't bother me one bit.

Right now, it's the Defiant, a 97 Chevy Lumina that I recently learned has a history as a cop car before it made its way to my family. It didn't surprise me; it has the sort of tenacity and feel I would expect from such a vehicle, which makes it ideal for sliding around town with pizzas or punching through rush hour traffic on the way to a gig.

Ack--Just now I accidentally clicked some random button on this godforsaken toolbar-ridden browser on my parents' computer and it whisked me away to Google. Thank goodness for autosaving.

Anyway...hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to get out of here, and get back to some semblance of a routine. Being away from Denton for a while is nice, but one thing is for sure: the length of time I spend here is inversely proportional to how relaxing it is for me.

Home for the holidays

This marks one year since the last time I was here at home with my family, and the first time in two that we've all been in one place together. My brother being off with the Marines makes get-togethers difficult at times, and I chose to stay in Texas for Thanksgiving this time around. It's been nice to be back with everyone, though.

And that's the first time I can remember saying that...well, almost ever. For a long time I regarded returning home with a mixture of dread and annoyance, with a dash of "well, it's free food." I considered it interference in my general desire for privacy, and what would generally begin as a relatively pleasant visit usually ended in confrontation between myself and (usually) my mom. This time around my whole attitude has been different, more helpful all around, with less effort spent trying to find solitude in a house with seven people in it.

Transformation of the heart, indeed...I just want it to keep moving.

One thing that is not moving for the moment: me. My car threw the serpentine belt and something else related to it while on the way to drop off some suits at the cleaner's. My dad and I limped it over to the dealership, where a polo shirt-clad service agent gravely assessed the situation and hung a cardboard placard with a number on the mirror. It's not as bad as it might be, but worse than it could. As usual. Oh well, better here than in the middle of BFE, Oklahoma (AKA, all of Oklahoma).

One situation that has required a more serious consideration is getting to New York in two weeks. My band is supposed to perform at a major arts conference there, but to get there I need to track down the cash to buy my own plane ticket. I think I can afford it, with what I've gotten for Christmas and earned working. I'm going to see if my dad has enough frequent flyer miles to get a discount at least...it would be nice to save a little.

I did get one nice surprise at Christmas: my sister got me a Garmin Nuvi. Generally Christmas brings generally the same things; I get a book or two, usually some new item of clothing, a couple gift cards to B&N or related spots, and of course, I always get chocolate-covered cherries. Not sure how this started, but they seem to be a universal constant. Well, I did get those, but the Garmin was a real surprise, and pleasant enough since I've been wanting a GPS now for some time.

We venture out today to my dad's dad's place in Illinois; his 80th birthday party is tomorrow and it sounds like it'll be a pretty good one.

Some scripture for today

Matthew 22:1-14:

And again Jesus spoke to them [the chief priests and elders] in parables, saying, "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding feast, but they would not come. Again he sent other servants, saying, 'Tell those those who are invited, See, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered and everything is ready. Come to the wedding feast.' But they paid not attention and went off, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. The king was angry, and he sent his troops and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ' The wedding feast is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the main roads and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find.' And those servants went out into the roads and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good. So the wedding hall was filled with guests.

"But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment. And he said to him, 'Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?' And he was speechless. Then the king said to his attendants, 'Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' For many are called, but few are chosen."

Quite honestly, this is one of those sections that gives me trouble, partially because it's easier to understand within the larger context of the preceding and succeeding chapters, and partially because there are some things that require a greater knowledge of the scriptures to know God's promises to His people, the Israelites. For example, the man who had no wedding garments--what the heck is that? The Bible holds a few possible answers, including Ezekiel 16:10-13:

I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty.

But what I think Jesus is referring to is the idea, repeated many times throughout the Scriptures, that righteousness does not come from our actions or from us in any way. It only comes from God, through His grace. The men Jesus was talking to were men who would have considered themselves very righteous--they had, after all, dedicated their lives to God's law, to interpreting it and following it, and exhorting the people of Israel to the same. Yet Jesus compared them both to murderous and insulting men invited to a feast, and then again to a man who comes to the feast but is cast out for being unworthy in manner of dress.

I've actually heard this used as an argument for why we're supposed to put on our Sunday finest every time we go to church, but to put it lightly, I think that's extremely short-sighted. Jesus says in the story that everyone found on the main roads "both bad and good" were brought in to the feast. This is neither a wholesale rejection of the Jewish people as God's own, nor is it a claim that you can still be an evil person yet be accepted into heaven. What it is, is Jesus saying that the elect, the few who are chosen, are not chosen because of how righteous they try to make themselves, but by how much they recognize their own unrighteousness and seek to be clothed in holiness through the grace of God. Through running after the law the Jewish people had found nothing but condemnation, but Jesus came to offer an invitation to God's great wedding feast. In the religious leaders, however, Jesus found men who would sooner reject God's great feast than give up any claim to the righteousness they believed they had achieved for themselves.

Recovering

So, I didn't get to delve into the topic of service like I intended to over the last week. Thanksgiving weekend was much busier than I anticipated it being, and now I'm contending with what seems to be a nasty head cold.

There's been much more to it, but I won't ramble on about all the intricacies of the last week...at least not yet. I will say that the opportunity to serve and meet others in the community last Thanksgiving as I helped at my church's Thanksgiving meal they put on was incredible. It was great to see so many people from different walks of life coming together to eat, and to see so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ come out to reach out in love to serve the community and get to know the people that live and work around us.

I'll post something up later...my head is stuffed up and I can barely summon up the patience to sit here and write this small amount.